Devil's Trap
by WistalaJizara279511
Summary: Castiel Novak has had a SERIOUS dating problem: he can never leave the girl he's seeing after they split. They always get back together. But Gabriel has had enough, and decides to intervene in his little brother's love life, sending him to the relationship guru himself. (Conditional oneshot. Destiel.)


Hey guys! So this came to me while I was dancing away while getting ready to go out, and it might have a Magic Mike influence if you squint _reeeeaaallllyyy _hard. There may be eventual Sabriel, but for now it's just gonna be Destiel. And it's only gonna have Sabriel or any other pairing if you guys want me to continue it or leave this as a really-god-awful-cliffhanger oneshot. BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!

READ ON!

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"Can I get you anything, handsome?" A waitress was standing next to him, drink tray under her arm and leaning against his table. She was attractive enough, to him at least, with dirty-blonde hair thrown into a styled ponytail, and brown eyes gazing intently at his own crystal blue.

Castiel would never really be seen in a place like the Roadhouse, but his older brother Gabriel was, as he had said, 'Done with your idiotic dating horseshit!' He had sent Castiel to the Roadhouse with a set of rules and instructions, and one hundred and fifty dollars that he expects to have back soon after he had arrived.

"I was sent by 'ShortStack.' He said I have a bit of a pest problem at my place, and I need a hunter to help me with it. He said you guys might have a few extra traps lying around." Castiel managed to keep a straight face, despite how much he had wanted to slam his face into the table after how many times Gabriel had made him repeat those lines to him until he knew them by heart. He was expecting the waitress to laugh at him, say he's insane and walk away.

He wasn't expecting her to look like she'd seen a ghost as soon as he said the ridiculous nickname Gabriel had suggested.

"ShortStack? ShortStack sent you here?" After he nodded slowly, she leaned away cautiously, narrowing her eyes and looking him up and down. After a few minutes of this and feeling like he was going to burst into flames, she smirked.

"So, that means you must be Baby Blue. He was always talking about you." She jerked her arm up, thumb sticking out and pointing to the side of the bar. "Go back to the storage area. Go down the stairs, tell Ash what you told me, and do exactly what he says. I'm guessing Short told you what to do after that, right?" Castiel nods after a few seconds, not exactly looking forward to seeing where this was going. "And I'm also going to guess that you've NEVER been here before, either?" Another nod, and a boisterous laugh from the waitress. "Then good luck, handsome! You're going to need it. I'm Jo, by the way. Now go on before I have Rufus drag you out."

She walked away after that, and Castiel got an uneasy feeling. He got up and walked to the door beside the bar at the back of the room despite the feeling.

He glanced at the bartender as he neared the door, a robust man in a plaid shirt and a trucker cap, with a scraggly beard. The man never paid him any attention, and Castiel slipped through the door undeterred.

The storage area was a large room, using most of the building's empty space, lined with shelves that were stocked with various crates and bottles of liquor. As he looked around, Castiel found a stairwell at the back of the room, nearly hidden by a tall shelf filled to the ceiling with alcohol. It was dimly lit, only a couple of overhead lamps barely clinging to life showing the way.

It was only a flight of stairs, but it seemed like the longest flight of stairs he had ever taken. There were a few spider webs clinging to the corners and the lamps, and the only thing he could hear was the faint buzzing of the lights, his shoes scuffing along the ground, a pipe leaking somewhere, and, if they were loud enough, a drunk's happy laughter. And it was starting to feel a bit cooler the closer he got to the bottom.

'_Damn you, Gabriel! He's probably sending me to an axe murderer for all I know!'_ He thought with a slight touch of panic. He reached the bottom of the first half of the stairs, and try as he might, he couldn't avoid peering around the corner to make sure nothing was going to launch itself at him and try to kill him. He could only see the light of another lamp at the end of the hall, the one closest to him had apparently burnt out. And at the edge of the lamp's light was a shadowed figure hunched in a chair.

Castiel swallowed, praying to whoever would listen to please not let him be murdered or kidnapped today, took a deep breath, and stepped forward. He took the last three steps of stairs wishing there were more, and with each additional step he took, a coil of fear and panic was wound tighter and tighter between his shoulders. He reached the hunched figure, and before he could even get the nerve to clear his throat, the figure spoke.

"What'd'ya want? A trap, or a game?" The man had a very lazy way of speaking, his words almost slurring together. He had an ungodly mullet as well, a plaid vest jacket _thing_, and a six-pack of beer beside him on the floor.

"I'm-" Castiel cleared his throat, nerves making his voice crack when it really _didn't need to_. "I was sent by ShortStack. He said I needed a hunter for a pest problem I have at home." The man looked up at him, a tired expression on his face, but his eyes were sharp and calculating.

"And exactly how do I know tha' you actually _know_ ShortStack, and tha' you're not makin' him up?" Gabriel had told him this would happen, which is why he had given Castiel a set of instructions for this situation. He took out the one hundred and fifty dollars Gabe had given him, held it in his right hand, and held up three fingers on his left hand.

The man glanced at the money, and then huffed out a breath as he settled back in his chair. "Go through this door, then when you get to the room with three other doors, take the one to the right, and follow that hallway to the end. Knock on the door first two times, wait a second, then knock again three times. When someone answers, tell them ShortStack sent you and they'll let you in."

"Umm…thanks?" Castiel never got an answer from the man after that, so he turned to the aforementioned door and walked through. As the man had said, there were three other doors here. He went through the one at his right, the earsplitting shriek of the rusty hinges making him cringe. After he closed the door with another shriek, he saw that this hallway was much like the other, dim lamp lights leading the way down another spider web filled path.

'_Gabe, I swear to god, if I'm harmed in ANY way, I __**WILL**__ kill you!'_ Once Castiel reached the end of the hallway, there was, what do you know, another fucking door. He sighed, lifted his hand and knocked twice, waited for a second, and then knocked three more times as he was told. He stepped back from the door just as a small hatch was opened on the door and someone with a metallic silver mask looked out of it.

"Yeah?" The person behind the door was watching him intently, like he was going to try and do something that the man would find unworthy.

"Uh, I was sent by ShortStack-" Castiel had barely gotten the name out of his mouth before the hatch was slammed shut and the door thrown open to reveal a woman with flowing dirty blonde hair, a brown leather mask surrounding chocolate brown eyes, and… was she using a piece of _satin_ for a bra?!

"Please excuse Sword, he can be a bit of an asshole. I'm Rose, by the way. So ShortStack sent you? What do you need? We can help in whatever way we can." Her voice was practically a purr by the time she stopped talking, and she was looking him up and down like the waitress Jo had.

"Um, yeah, he sent me here to find a hunter or something? He never did give me any details." He glanced behind the woman, seeing another woman with straight blonde hair, a deep red mask with scarlet jewels and feathers, and matching dark red…well, _lingerie_, is what it practically was. Behind her, he could see a red haired woman in a white outfit with small wings attached to the back and a halo coming up from her white feathered mask.

"Oh. You're here to see _**him**_." Rose practically sneers the word, like the person was just as bad as it was. She turned away from Castiel, leaving the door open. "Just ask the people at the other end and you'll find the jackass. And close the door." She sat at a vanity almost overflowing with makeup, like it was her throne and she had given her orders.

Castiel stepped through the door and closed it, looking behind it to find the man with the silver mask. He had short, black hair, nearly black eyes, and he was broad shouldered and muscled. '_The kind of man who expects everything to be given, and nothing returned.' _Castiel walked past him, Rose, and the woman in white, heading further into the room. There were mirrors, racks of clothing, and makeup-laden vanities everywhere, and just as many people running about. Whenever he would try to talk with someone, they would hurry off somewhere else to do something, and he was starting to get a bit frustrated with it.

"Keep making that face and one of the guys might just take pity on you." Castiel flinched, the voice startling him. He looked in the direction the person had spoken, and found a…_Adonis reincarnated_, sitting at a nearly empty vanity, except for the leather gun holster, what Castiel _hoped_ was a fake gun, a few straps of leather, and well-worn, brown leather mask lying to the side. The man had golden suntanned skin, broad shoulders, muscled just the way Castiel liked it, with short, spiked light brown hair.

"And what face would that be?" He asked the question only for the excuse to hear the man speak again, since he probably knew exactly what expression he was making. Gabriel often said he looked like he was angry and constipated at the same time.

"That you're irritated, and you're trying to figure out a way to either get someone to talk to you, or find someone who isn't doing anything. Well, that, or you somehow know that I would get up and gladly kiss the look off your face if only to see if you look even more gorgeous when you blush." He met Castiel's gaze in the mirror, and he had the most gorgeous pair of bright green eyes Castiel had ever seen.

Castiel was a little flustered (okay, completely embarrassed) by the man's comment and he could feel himself blushing like a madman.

"Th-thanks, I guess. Um, would you be able to, ah, help me, since, well, you're already talking to me? I think I just need to, um, find someone, I think." Wow, where did his ability to speak decide to vacation? Antarctica? Castiel looked down to his shoes, unable to look into the man's eyes without stuttering now.

"Yeah, sure." He picked up the straps of leather, strapping one to his right bicep, and turned to face Castiel. "Who are you supposed to be looking for?" He placed another strap of leather around his left forearm before bending down to tie another strip around his left calf.

_Do __NOT__ turn to Gabe's line of thinking!_ Castiel looked away from the carnal sin happening in front of him.

"Well, my brother sent me. ShortStack? He said to tell whoever I meet that he sent me to find a hunter for a pest problem I have at home. Then the woman with the...satin heard me, and she said I needed to come down this way to find 'the jackass'. So I'm assuming I need to find someone." The man in front of him straightened, a scowl on his handsome face.

"Fucking Rose. The bitch hates me because I'm the brother of a man she tried to date but he refused. And it's not 'a hunter', it's 'Hunter', who you happen to be speaking to." The man, Hunter, smirked at him then, and damn Castiel's suddenly weak feeling knees. "So, how many times has this 'pest problem' occurred?" Once he saw Castiel's bewildered expression, he chuckled. "Whoever you've been dating, man. How many times have you two broken up and gotten back together before you came here?"

Castiel sighed. "Eight…within the year." He was ashamed to admit it, but he just couldn't get over Meg quick enough before she would come back, saying that she had been wrong, and then, somehow, they always managed to find themselves lying in his bed together naked.

Hunter let out a low whistle. "Damn. Who the hell is this person you can't seem to get rid of? Maybe I can scare them off?" And that damned smirk was back. "Or maybe…Come with me." He stood from his stool, and walked towards the end of the room. Castiel hesitated before following, not quite understanding what was happening.

Hunter went up to a man with a clipboard, whispered something to him, then turned to Castiel. "Come here, Cas. Just follow Jared here out to the floor, and if you want something to drink, just tell them you're with Hunter and you can get whatever you want. Alright?"

It's strange, how Castiel felt he could trust Hunter completely, yet he feels like going with Jared will mean never seeing him again. He glanced to Jared, then back to Hunter, and again. Hunter chuckled when he saw what Castiel was doing.

"It's okay, man. I'll see you in a few minutes; I just need to get my set done. Who knows, you might enjoy it, too." Hunter winked at Castiel, and it somehow just seemed absolutely _lewd_. Castiel felt his cheeks flush, and he would bet money that his face and neck were scarlet red in embarrassment. Jared coughed to get their attention, and Castiel quickly followed him through the door.

Unfortunately for him, he had no idea what he was getting into.

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Please, for the love of all that is holy to the SPN fandom, tell me someone understood the name references and who they are. And again, tell me if I should leave it as the worst oneshot EVEr iN eXISteNCE, or continue on it.

All the love,

Wisty


End file.
